I often second guess myself when it comes to my emotional reactions.
I learned at a critical age, that I was too emotional.
Too vocal, too whiny, too sad.
Up until that point, I thought it was my super power.
Deeply feeling everything— understanding myself and letting everything in.
I had no security.
Flash forward, and those bones have healed incorrectly.
I go to a doctor to get my bones reset.
During the healing process I am tested in the drive-thru.
when someone cuts in front of me, when I was just following the rules.
We yell and I honk repeatedly
I am angry.
I was following the rules of the drive-thru— not to block the intersection.
They leave, and I replay the situation over and over.
Was I wrong? I was too aggressive. I should have let it go.
The temptation to ask my sister if I overreacted is dangling in front of me,
like a 100 dollar bill.
But I don't.
I check in with myself.
Feeling confident in my reaction and how I handled the situation.
Then I hear a car behind me, mentioning how it was loud.
the person in the restaurant agrees, saying
They could hear it inside.
My confidence dissolves into a puddle, and I am embarrassed.
I decide to apologize to the people in the restaurant when I get to the window.
I am prepared to pay and be punished for my crime,
when I surprised by the car behind me.
They paid for me.
They felt bad for what happened and paid for me,
and I feel validated.