I have a whole playlist on Spotify that reminds me of you.
When I need to remember how you broke me I listen
And remember how you started chipping away at my mind and soul.
That you told me my mental illness would go away if I tried hard enough.
I keep telling you it was like a pot on the back burner
always present sometimes boiling
But you insisted that I wasn’t trying hard enough to help myself.
Meanwhile you coped with
But I wasn’t trying hard enough.
When I listen and I am reminded
You tried to convince me that you didn’t just call me fat for eating.
And I remember your breath on my skin when all we did was have sex
I thought what we had was special
but all I was to you
was a warm body to sleep with.
I am reminded of when all you did was complain about how you hated everything
But then I switch the playlist
and I am happy you are easily erased from my memory
like a playlist.